Saturday, July 19, 2014

Favorite Voice Coachie:

                                Favorite Voice Coachie: Usher Raymond. (Now THAT'S hot! :D) 

Okay okay... I'll admit. When I first found out that Mr. Raymond was replacing Mr. Lo Green as a judge on Season 4, I was kinda mad. I didn't know much about Mr. Usher Raymond at the time, only that he had a major part in launching Justine Boobieb's wretched plague-infested "music" career that is now (as I am proud to say) on a downward spiral of collapse with Boobieb's recent plunge into delinquency. Mr. Raymond returned as a coach in Season 6 of the Voice. To be honest, after spending two seasons with Mr. Raymond, I can say that I've grown to like him.

Music: Mr. Raymond's music can be somewhat similar to that idiot Levine's music as both of them have higher voices suited to R&B (which Mr. Raymond OBVIOUSLY beats Levine flat on that genre). However, Mr. Raymond exceeds Levine in the musical department because his material borders the "soul" genre of music intermixing with pop/R&B. So to say that Mr. Raymond is more tied with his culture is a fair statement, that and his material isn't as sexually promiscuous as that disgusting pervert Levine. To be honest, Mr. Raymond's music is okay. I'm not really a fan of his songs, but I do like his Without You song. Mr. Raymond's voice is BETTER than Levine's snot-ass nasal voice because Mr. Raymond has a slightly larger vocal range, a distinct warm sexual tone that captivates on his seductiveness, has better lower notes, is better at singing EMOTIONALLY, and has superb breathing techniques to dance and sing at the same time while Levine fails at all that. Mr. Raymond also doesn't have to rely on 4 ass sidekicks to assist him like Levine has to, so that's another plus.

Dance: In addition to his singing ability, Mr. Raymond also doubles up by the fact that he can actually dance and not strip (like Levine Adam). If you went to the strip club, you'd be more likely to see Levine on stage anytime before Mr. Raymond. (Maybe that's where Levine had his first penniless gigs... lol) To say that Mr. Raymond is infinitely more talented than Levine would be an understatement. Mr. Raymond's ability to sing and dance is on par with Michael Jackson's legendary skills. Mr. Raymond is the best male singer&dancer combo talent of this era accomplished by his sex appeal, his swift feet, and his slick Michael-Jackson-esque movements.

Appearance: Mr. Raymond may be one of the sexiest African-American males available in the entertainment industry this day and age. When you compare him and resident eunuch Levine, it's obvious that Mr. Raymond is at least three times as manly as that dukesgernaut. (Your leg up is a manly action Mr. Raymond) As dance is such a huge part of Mr. Raymond's skillset, it would obviously make sense that Mr. Raymond has an extremely agile and fit body. Mr. Raymond is slim, but he definitely has muscle. In fact, his body is almost all muscle with noticeable pecks and six-packs. All Levine has to work with is fat, flab, and a belly. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       That's Sad Levine... Sad...                              That's what I'm talking about Mr. Usher Raymond!!!

As you can clearly see, the difference is obvious. I don't understand what the fucking hell People's Magazine was drugged up on to EVER consider ugly-ass shitstick Levine as a candidate for their annual "Sexiest Man Alive" poll much less the eventual victor. People's Magazine should be ashamed of even calling themselves a credible magazine after that horrendous decision to give Levine that title, when a sexier man can be found sitting 2 FUCKING CHAIRS AWAY FROM HIM!!! Also, as you can see by the picture, Levine sort of has womanish hips, which makes sense considering that he has a transvestite-voice. It's DISGUSTING. Also, I noted that Mr. Raymond acquired some tattoos too. However, being that Mr. Raymond's skin is at a natural darker tone, his tattoos don't overtake his appearance that much. On the opposite end, look at Levine. His skin tone and his tattoos contrast each other, making his dirty tattoos stand out like inky inscriptions all over his skin. Levine's tattooed ass is thoroughly disgusting. 

Coaching: Okay, since the main point of this article is to stress why I think Mr. Raymond is the best coach on The Voice, I'll get to it. You can find more of what I hate about Levine on my The Krackhead Club blog. What I loved about Mr. Raymond was that I could actually FEEL he was sincere and that he actually cared about the artists on his team. Mr. Raymond also finds creative ways to engage them during practice by making them do exercise and what not. Mr. Raymond is also humble and honest. (I mean seriously, since when was he bragging about how "sexy" he was and hogging the stupid camera like that eunuch Levine?) Mr. Raymond is also very sweet to the contestants, and I know he cares very much about the people he mentors. Simply because Mr. Raymond is a disciplinarian and doesn't sugarcoat everything like the rest of them, I KNOW he is being sincere and helpful. While Levine and the other coaches may sugarcoat a performance, Mr. Raymond is usually the one giving advice on improvement and telling the artist that the reality is HARD WORK. When it comes to the performances that he doesn't like, Mr. Raymond makes it clear that he is indifferent and may actually offer honest advice on improvement. On the other hand, for exceptional performances, Mr. Raymond makes it clear by giving whole-hearted standing ovations and praise. Mr. Raymond is also rarely annoying unlike stupid dumbass Levine (who tries to feign intelligence by using half-ass vocabulary words that he doesn't fully understand), and he has shown that he cares about his artists as he keeps in contact with them and even helps promote them like he did with Mr. Josh Kaufman. That being said, I really dislike Mr. Raymond using the whole "I discovered Justine Boobieb" card to lure in artists. Not only do I wish he wouldn't remind me that he was responsible for the debut of one of the worst tragedies in music, but Mr. Raymond doesn't even have to kiss Boobieb's ass to be appealing. With all the qualities I listed, Mr. Raymond can easily make himself so attractive already. Throwing in the Boobieb card only taints the purity and sincerity of Mr. Raymond and also makes the hook about Boobieb, which I absolutely despise. Other than that though, Mr. Raymond is without a doubt the best coach the Voice has so far. :D